When your partner shows up to listen
A client once told me she was going through cancer, frightened and exhausted, and her partner said he was bored with it. He was sick of being lonely downstairs while she went to bed early. She asked him to come up and just watch TV with her. He said no, told her to make the effort and come down, then said “I love you” in the same breath.
Love is a word. Anyone can say it. My partner and I have a rule instead: show me, don’t tell me.
Being dismissed activates the same part of the brain as physical pain, which is why we say “that hurt me,” not just “that upset me.” When someone’s not interested in what you say, it physically hurts, and it’s closely linked to depression.
If your partner doesn’t believe in you enough to listen to you, how can you ever believe in yourself enough to achieve anything?
Without communication, accountability and repair become impossible. And that’s the one thing that decides whether a relationship can work at all.
Curious how communication and feeling heard show up in your relationship?
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